The Poop Chronicles 12/31/17

I woke promptly at 6:30 Hamm was rustling around in his kennel, acting like he’s starving. I get up along with Lance ( he was going to do the deed for me). He’s a good man, definitely steps up to the plate when I’m not up to par. But today and yesterday I had the energy to feed my pups. All my pups serve a purpose. Hammbone Jenkins III (there wasn’t a I or II the kids named him) aka Hamm ( a mutt, I believe Rottie/pointer mix) is the guard dog. He would definitely bite if someone broke in. Mr. Wiggles (Olde English)is the 10/40 (back up) If Hamm gets upset, Wiggles is ready to come to his aid. Daisy Mae (my GSD) is my service dog. She still needs a boatload of training but I think she will work out well. Her and I have an amazing connection. This dog has sold me on GSD’s she is absolutely the smartest dog I’ve ever owned. Sampson (my American bulldog) he’s just a cuddle bug. I do think he’ll wind up being the guard dog when Hamm passes. He gives it hell when people are walking by but is still a pup and unsure of himself.

So I feed and walk them. SUCCESS they all poop and peed. I’m still awaiting the arrival of my poop aka mine and Lance’s baby. I drink my coffee, I feel a rumbling in my belly. Could it be? Is it finally time to push? I run to the bathroom. SUCCESS! It was beautiful! I did it and all on my own. No pain, no having to call Lance into the bathroom to help me birth this turd. Now I can go on with my day not feeling like I’m 10 months preggers. If this is how the New Year is going to start I’m all in!

I think back on the year behind and think about how blessed and lucky I am. I have so many things to be grateful for. Wonderful sons, a loving husband, a great friend, because yes I am down to one. My bestie Jan. She has been a constant in my life since 2006. I started working with her at the P.D.

I admit she rubbed me the wrong way at first. She was my trainer and who likes their trainer? I found her a bit abrasive at first. Then came to love her abrasive side. She’s a shoot from the hip kinda gal. Much like myself she is misunderstood because she shoots from the hip. I’ve come to love her and cherish her friendship. She’s been there through thick and thin. Saw me through the passing of Bob and then through a myriad of boyfriends before finding Lance. She’s absolutely seen me at my worst. Drinking too much and down in the dumps. Did she ever judge? Not that I’m aware of. I think she finds me entertaining. I am quite the squirrel at times, as you’ll see.

When we dispatched I’d walk into dispatch and tell her things like it’s going to be a shit day I hadn’t pooped in days, or I had a bowel movement I’m ready to conquer the world! I also used to joke about going out back to smoke a dube, I wasn’t really going to smoke pot in back of the P.D. I was going to smoke a cigarette. But always said it to get a chuckle out of her. I do admit when I would say it around supervisors (the Captain etc) I did it for shock value. I really enjoy seeing what people will say or do when I come out with outlandish things. It’s kind of like let’s throw this out there and see what happens. As you’ll see I do this often with Lance and the kids. Got to keep things poppin’.

So me and my sweetie are going to get this New Years Eve started. Shower and then decide what we may or may not do on this New Years Eve. It all depends on energy level. Sometimes I can go and do and sometimes I Peter out. But I pooped today so it’s off to a good start.26055689_10154949747681945_402990954911850032_n

Author: mswithmsalex

A funny gals take on the ups and downs of dealing with MS. The stuff people don't like to talk about. The hilarious situations I've found myself in. I hope this brings laughter to a disease that isn't very humorous

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