I start this entry with making memories. I feel VERY strongly about this subject. This is something people with and without a chronic illness should always make a point to do. Life can change fast, it can change within a second leaving us with the wtf look on our face.
Don’t be left thinking I wish I had done that. I’ve made a ton of memories in my day. Nothing crazy mind you, no overseas vacations, no elaborate parties, but I still and all have made some wonderful memories. I think my kids have really benefitted from the fun stuff they can look back on. We talk about those fun/crazy times a lot.
Last night my son David, my go to son, my ride or die person txted me a video. He works at the Bay on 30A. It’s a really nice restaurant in a very nice area.
They had an event last night and I believe will be doing another tonight. They have a song writers festival going on, it’s a big time from what I hear. Deana Carter is there as well as several other artists.
Years ago when David was 8 or 9 I brought him and his brother (baby Jake) to one of her concerts. They was just little guys but we had a blast. Afterward him and Jake got on stage and we took pictures. I’m a fan of taking lots of pictures. Glad I did that now that my memory has gotten so bad. Those pics make me laugh and help me remember.
So David’s at work and in the middle of everything going on (it was very busy) takes the time to take a video of her singing one of the songs we heard her sing when he was a little guy and sent it to me. My boys are as sentimental as me. I love it!!! It choked me up that he remembered that concert.
My point to telling you that (besides giving my boy David props) is to make sure I impress upon everyone how important making these memories are. While it seems like a silly little concert or a silly little video txt. It’s important to me that my boys remember all of the fun times we had when they was little.
Life gets busy and with chronic illness it seems like we have so much going on. Even without illness, life is busy. We have careers, bills, problems at work, problems paying bills. But at the end of the day all of that is temporary. It’s minor, especially if we have kids. Kids are always watching and taking their cue from us. The things important to us will wind up being important to them.
I remember vividly when my dearly departed husband Bob was sick with cancer, we talked. We talked a lot. We made memories even when he was in the process of passing. I remember having a conversation with him about vacations and how he’d wished we had taken more. We both was busy working, paying bills and raising kids throughout our marriage. He worked hard and was a good provider. He spoiled me and the kids rotten.
I talk about Bob a lot you’ll see. That doesn’t take away from my sweet husband Lance. I just feel like my life with Bob was important in making me who I am today. Lance too is a wonderful man, who goes above and beyond. But I was younger while Bob and I was married and I learned a lot from him.
So back to my making memories spiel. I remember when my boys was in grade school all the way through to high school, I’d pick them up during school for lunch and we’d go have a lunch date. That or I’d keep them home for the day from school and we’d have a mom and son day, a day at the beach or shopping.
Make those memories, take the vaca, stay up late, let the kiddos eat cake for breakfast once in a while. Life is short, enjoy it.
Not acting like I’m checking out or anything, because I’m NOT I’m far from it. I’m going to be around for many years to make a ton more great memories with Lance and the boys
But my circumstances have changed.
My Sissy had a chance to go to Europe and Hungary a couple of months back. She is deathly afraid of flying and going to Europe is a very, very long flight. She was stressing over getting on the flight. About a week before her trip she called and was picking my brain about going on that loooong flight. I told her to take the trip if anything for me.
I told her how I’d wished I’d have done more while I was still able. She wound up taking the trip and had a blast!
I’d like to do a trip to Europe (I have a ton of family there, that I’d love to see) but don’t think it’s very realistic that I can actually pull it off. My sons don’t understand why I think it’s outside the realm of possibilities. They don’t understand how exhausting it is for me to just sit. They don’t get how no amount of meds can make this any less painful.
With all of that I have to say I’m thankful my boy Jake is doing trips over seas and David is doing his thing, got his degree and is enjoying life. I live vicariously through them. They’re making memories. Anyone that knows me, knows I’m a helicopter mom from hell and worry myself into a tizzy. I like my kids close, so if God forbid anything happens I can be there in a moments notice. I’m learning to let go and let them do their thing, because life is short and I want them to have their memories to look back on when they’re old and grey.
So enough of that. Onto yesterday, it was a good day! I woke, helped my sweetie feed the pups, showered and went to Walmart. Yes I always say Walmart is a shit show, but with feeling like all I do is lay in bed even Walmart can be a welcome change of scenery.
So we go and as usual it amuses us. Lance and I joke that it’s the promenade of Panama City. I go to the pharmacy to get the remainder of my script. Just a heads up check your scripts when picking them up. This is what happened to me….
I had gotten my script in 12/7 didn’t realize it was short 69 pills. I went to take my pain meds the other day and thought wth? I knew I hadn’t went through that script so quick. I HATE pain meds (because I’m a control freak and like to be in control of my faculties). I knew there’s no way in hell I could have taken that many. I look at the bottle and low and behold they had only given me a partial script. I call Walmart pharmacy (in a tizzy) and they tell me “ you must have requested a partial script” I call BULLSHIT! I told the lady on the phone I have never requested a partial script EVER! She was unclear as to why they had only given me a partial. I told her I wasn’t blaming her I just wanted some resolution. So check your scripts folks!
So I pick up the remainder, talk to the pharmacist (who also didn’t know why this had happened) he was very apologetic though, so lesson learned. I go about my business, do my shopping, and go to check out.
The hubby and I joking and being silly. It was a good day, I felt human GO TEAM ALEX!!!!! They (Walmart) may be a shit show but they do have the best prices in town.
We get to a line that’s pretty short. How could this be? A short line and a crip spot in the parking lot? Holy shit the Walmart Gods must be shining upon us today!
There’s a lady In front of us, Lance and I are chit chatting amongst ourselves, when it happens, there’s an error while doing the lady before us transaction. Holy shit stop the presses, this is a major thing. NOT.
The manager comes clears the register and tells the cashier she needs to redo the ladies purchase, which entails ringing up her order all over again. Piece by piece the cashier goes through her order again. The whole time this lady ( the cashier) looks like she wants to cry. She’s about my age,so she wasn’t a child, my heart went out to her. The customer looks a little annoyed but she’s handling it ok. She get her through and paid. Looks at me with a look of, I just know you’re going to bitch and complain. She apologized for it taking so long. I said “no worries, shit happens”. Meanwhile the chic behind me is complaining like an ass. The look of appreciation she ( the cashier) gave me was awesome. She saw I wasn’t going to be a jerk, so she went on to tell me about some meat deals they had going on. It was as if to say thanks for not being a jerk here’s a tip for your efforts.
I leave this blog entry with saying treating people with regard and understanding is as good for us as it is with the other person. The woman behind me, complaining probably continued having a shit day with her shit attitude. While she (the cashier) appreciated my understanding, I felt good about being the one she had to deal with during a stressful part of her day.
No I’m not giving myself a pat on the back or anything. Trust me I’ve been an ass on more than one occasion. I’m just saying slow down and calm down. Not everything is an emergency and we don’t always have to rush.
I’m learning a different way of being these days. I’m not stressing near as much and I take the time to breath, gather my thoughts and enjoy all the good days I can. The good days have become the rarity. Hopefully this passes and my new normal levels out to be more good days than bad days like they was before. After all winter is what tends to make my MS go hey wire.
I end this with saying I’m sure I’ll still be an ass on occasion. Still spunky and have a no nonsense attitude about me and would never back down from an altercation. I’m just slowing it down and looking at things from all angles before jumping the gun and showing my ass.
So now the cable guy is here and hopefully can fix our cable issue. Happy Sunday folks.