Snarky and sassy is how I started my morning. My boy jake. Sends me this txt sometime last night. This is what I woke up to.
Jake the optimist (God love him) sends this to me. I’m not quite sure if he was saying he was going to do this or he was suggesting I do it. Either way it made me think.
I used to be somewhat athletic, playing golf and I worked out every single day. I still work out on occasion, but only when I’m having a good day. This is a rarity for me these days, but I do it when I can.
I’ve lost a lot of muscle mass with this last flare.
Being unable to do more than shuffle to the bathroom from my bedroom and the occasional trip to the store has led me lose considerable muscle. I have played golf a couple of times using my club as a cane. Definitely not the same golfer I was. In my head I was a super star and heading toward the nationals. Yes I’m kidding. This last flare was the asskickingest flare I’ve had over the years.
I am still hopeful that I can rehab somewhat and get back some strength and stamina.
Back to my original thought, it seems as though most days I spend resting. But does my sweet boy (the optimist) think I may be able to get healthy enough to do a biking event for MS? God I hope he doesn’t, id hate to let him down. Although I feel passionate about MS and raising awareness, in my heart of hearts I know I won’t be rehabbed enough to conquer this bike ride.
It is important to keep positive for family and friends, (after all who wants to be around a Debbie downer?) sometimes it can feel like being positive can create pressure to be “normal”.
How do I handle times like these you ask? I’m a smart ass. I go into true Alex form. After all sass like MS is the gift that keeps giving and by golly I’m going to give it. I have a dry, snarky, sassy sense of humor. Anyone that knows me has come to expect as much, so I will not disappoint. Some people love it and some people hate it. The ones that don’t can kiss my mean ass.
The pressure lies with being positive and not wanting to disappoint. It can become a bit much.
For instance I went with my hubby to play golf yesterday after my friends funeral. I was hell bent on making the most of the pretty day. After all we have to be grateful for every day we have. Mind you I wasn’t playing, just riding. As we rode around and Lance played (doing really well I might add) my body started hurting. Remember earlier I went to my buds funeral? I hadn’t taken my medication which in turn leads to a shit load of pain. I didn’t want to sit at the funeral stoned on meds. I didn’t think that would be very respectful. So even just sitting and riding wound up being too much. Around the 15th hole I had my fill and put in to go home. I felt bad, but in reality I started hurting at the 11th hole, so I feel I held out like a champ. Lance begrudgingly agreed, he was having a stellar game I’ll say in his defense. I felt bad, but it was too much. Although it doesn’t seem like a big deal, I was left feeling like I let him down. The pressure I place on myself is far greater than any pressure anyone could put upon me. When my boy sent me that txt it made me think. For a second I though I should really try to do this. After all this would be something the old Al might do. This was something that was in the realm of possibilities not so long ago. These days not so much. We sickly folk get guilty from not being able to perform as we once had. It feels like we’re not meeting expectations. Mind you no-one is putting these pressures on me, but me. We can in fact can be our own worst enemy at times.
The new norm is an ass. I don’t like it one bit. But with that being said I’m hell bent on making it more bearable. I do plan on rehabbing as best I can. Do I think I’ll be doing a bike ride? Probably not. But once spring starts and it warms up outside I won’t have as much pain and I’ll get back to moving about more. I always say positive things happen to positive people and I’m positive I’m still a badass. 😉
My point to all of that rambling mess I just wrote was don’t beat yourself up, do the best you can. Folks will understand, but keep it positive and if you can’t be positive at least keep it sassy and snarky. If anything you’ll get a chuckle out of people. Have a great day folks! Put some sass in your coffee and make it an extra snarky Wednesday.
Do they have an ms muckfest by you? No way in hell could I complete the whole thing, but I did try! (I don’t think I even made it through more than 3 obstacles. I got dirty as hell and ended up with a few bruises, but it reminded me that I was ALIVE. Having the goal to try it, forced me to do pt and rehab (looking back I lost 15 lbs and went from being able to walk less than 200 yards to almost 1/2 mile without assistance) so its a win either way. THE BEST PART, though was my kids and family showing up to do it with me. Everyone had a blast!
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That’s awesome!!! I don’t think they do have one in the area but I’ll look into it. I’ll rehab again. I’m pretty good about putting the work in. I have with every flair I’ve had so far. Just not real sure what my limitations are these days. Once the cold weather stops and I can actually move without severe spasms I’ll get back to it.
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Even if you just show up, it is fun! Really not designed for people with MS to do imo, but it is great family time and sounds like your kids would get into it
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They absolutely would. I just looked into it. It’s not showing any in Florida or the surrounding areas.
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I understand how frustrating a horrible flare up can be! It is crazy how much muscle can be taken with just one mean flare up. But, I do believe you have the strength and passion to continue doing what you love! My Grandfather was a pro-golfer and owned a pro-shop when he retired. He never stopped playing even after he had to fight cancer. You are so inspiring and I love your attitude and definitely love to hear your son’s sassy attitude! Sassy is fun and fun loving! Sending you lots of love and comfort always!!!
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Thank you sweetie. I appreciate it. I’ll definitely will get back to golfing. It’s too much fun not to. It’s so cool your grandad was a pro golfer. That has to be THE BEST job ever!!!!! Yes this last flare was a beast but I’m a tough cookie so I’ll give as good as I got;)
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That is the best attitude to have! I know the flare up I had in October was brutal and I am still dealing with some issues. I guess the new lesions did leave some permanent issues which I am still trying to fight!!! I look forward to hearing about you back on the golf course!!!!
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I hear ya. The flare I’m still trying to get back from was last February. Which is one if the reasons I’m thinking this is the new norm. Either way I’m a fighter. Not going to let it get me down:)
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Dang your flare up was last February? Mine was in October and I am a little worried that how I am feeling is my new norm but I am like you and a fighter!! We have to fight this battle as much as we can!!!!
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It’s been a hell of a time trying to get back to my normal. I had to leave a job that I loved. That part if my new norm has me a little upset but everything for a reason. I have a lot of faith so I’m sure there is a reason for it.
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I completely understand! I am sorry you had to leave a job you loved. It is good to have faith and I always believe there is a reason for everything!
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Me too. I got a lot of gratification from it. Public service was very fulfilling.
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I bet Public service was great! I have always been a people kind of person and did work in HR. A few years ago I went to work for a mortgage company and sit at desk staring at a computer all day. It really sucks!!!
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Aw. I’m sorry you don’t like it there. It’s never fun doing a job that you’re not passionate about. I loved being dispatch. I handled some really crazy calls but feel I did a lot for people in general. 911 was my calling. I was quick , efficient and had compassion for the people that needed help.
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That sounds like it would be very interesting! I am more than certain you were fantastic with this! I can tell you are very compassionate! I just have a hard time sitting at a desk all day with no real connection with people. My computer and I do not get along all the time!
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Thank you. It was a great job. I totally get why you don’t like sitting in front of a computer with no interaction with people. That would make for a very long day.
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It really does make for a long day. Some of my co-workers are very judgmental and were down right hateful when I was out on short term disability for a month. It is hard being around them now because I know what was said. But that is really their problem!
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Damn I hate you had to deal with shitty people. I can’t really complain my coworkers was very understanding throughout my situation. I was lucky though. I’ve heard other people talk about how crappy some co workers can be.
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Had such a good laugh a few years ago when I really wanted to go biking.I was nearing fifty and hadn’t ridden a bike since I was a teen,so out of site of the neighbours with my fella standing by my side off I went after the peddles went around once I went around with them!Lots of bruises and laughter!they tell me that I can borrow a three wheel bike from Parks and Rec think that will be my next bike ride.There is balance in everything but me!
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I could totally see me going the route you did and winding up bruised. Balance has not been my friend with this last flare. I’m going to steer clear of the bike ride this go around. If things change next year maybe. But this year I think I’ll leave it to my sonny boy. Lol
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