As I lay here in my bed writing my blog I think, yeah, even though I’m laying here because I hardly slept last night from nerve pain, I’m still an MS bad ass.
I use the term MS badass vs MS Warrior because I’m pretty sure I was a bad ass right out of the birth canal. Then I happened to get MS. I’m not a warrior because I’m not fighting MS I’m working with what I have to make my days as good as they can possibly be. No fight there I’m still a badass and rocking the shit out of MS.
But I’m sure some look at it differently. Some like the term MS warrior because they feel they’re fighting for their life. I get it. I am a different bird, after all if we was all the same it would be a really boring world.
I’ve seen in several groups where people posting about their MS tattoos. I have a tat with my kids name on it. I like tattoos but now that I’m older I steer clear of them only because there’s nothing that I want on my body that isn’t there already. In one of my groups I liked a lady’s MS tattoo but told her I wouldn’t go that route because MS has tattooed my ass more than I really want already. I don’t want to give MS any credit for making me the person I am.
That and I hate the pity look people give when they find out I have it. I hate pity. It’s not my gig at all. So I’m not going to advertise the situation. Don’t get me wrong I’m very passionate about educating people about the disease I just don’t need to spend any more money on that tricky bitch than I already do. But to each his own. I don’t knock anyone for doing their thing. It’s just not my thing.
So yesterday was a good day. Saw the eclipse then went and played some golf. I was able to do 7 of the 9 holes we paid for. Lance did the full 18. I admit I was a little disappointed because last week I was able to pull off 18 holes and I had a killer game. Yesterday was just a rough day with fatigue,dizziness etc. Anyone that knows me knows I’m a tight wad so it killed me to pay for 9 holes and only do 7. But I have to listen to my body. I only had so many spoons to work with.
So This month I’ll have not worked for a full year. Anyone that knows me knows this really was the hardest thing I’ve dealt with since that last big flare. I’m a busy girl I like activity. I LOVED my job. It was actually my retirement job of sorts.
I used to be a 911 operator/police and fire dispatcher. I was quick AF nothing got past me. I did a good job even earning officer of the Year one year. This was a huge honor because I wasn’t an actual officer with standards, but I was a telecommunications officer. It was a great job, I made some really good friends there.
I remember when my hubby Bob passed and my officers all showed up in their dress blues. It meant so much to me for them to be there. There was standing room only at his funeral. He was loved by many and a great man.
When Lance and I met and got engaged I left the Pd and moved to Tally. I didn’t care for that area, no matter how long I was there it never felt like home, so we moved back. Back to the old house, the house I raised my boys in. The house Bob passed in. It’s an old house and we’re remodeling it constantly. It’s home and it feels good to be back.
When I came back I wound up getting a job at the airport as a telecommunications officer again. I dispatched police and fire as well as monitored alarms etc. it was a dream job. No 911 calls. No panicked mothers screaming on the other end because their child wasn’t breathing. No more car roll overs. None of it. It was chill as can be. I was working with the creme de la creme of dispatch for the area. I used to joke and say it was where dispatch goes to die. It was a great job, I loved it! I even handled a plane crash. It was a private plane and nothing too major, they totaled the plane, but got out unscathed. But I have to admit I wonder if that really scary call pushed me into that monster of a flare. Stress is hell on MS. I was lucky to be able to dispatch for all those years, without it becoming an issue sooner. I’m blessed. I do miss it, but it’s my time to rest. I feel like I’ve done my service for the community and I’m good with that.
I’ll leave this entry Happy Thursday everyone. Make it a great one and as always keep it positive ❤️