So yesterday and today started the same as usual. Lance and I tending the dogs. Up, dogs fed and pooped and everyone happy.
I laid back down like I do most days. I couldn’t fall back to sleep so I took advantage of the feeling of actually being clear minded and wide awake at the same time along with decent balance. What is this feeling of normalcy?
As I’ve stated in other blogs, MS is a tricky bitch that likes to remind us of who’s in charge. With that being said most times when I feel wide awake I don’t have energy to do anything or my balance is way off. There are several different things that may deter me from going about my old routine such as vision, pain, dizziness etc.
So having energy, clear headed and decent balance was a win,win. Hot damn!
I mulled over what task I might accomplish and thought closets! I do Spring cleaning of my closets every year. Last year this time I was just out of the hospital from getting plasmapheresis for a flare I just couldn’t shake. That was the one in which I believe my MS progressed. Needless to say I was in no shape to do my Spring cleaning. My closets desperately needed to be cleaned.
Like I said I do this yearly so a whole year of not doing it left them cluttered beyond belief. I have a ton of business clothes. Really nice business clothes. I’ve had some pieces for quite a while. As well as some with tags still on them. While going though my closets I thought to myself no one should accumulate this much stuff. Good thing I clean my closets once a year or I’d become a hoarder. I LOVE to shop, apparently a bit too much.
So I thought to myself, why in the hell do I have all of this? I’m not working any more. What was I holding on to? I even had several pairs of really pretty high heels. Like what the hell was I holding on to them for? If I ever do get to where I can wear some I can get more. Although at this point I don’t see that happening. But I’ll always hold out hope. I’ve always loved heels because they make me feel really put together and very feminine.
I sat for about a half hour looking at one of my closets. I decided that’s it I’m going to get rid of my work clothes and heels. I think I was holding on to the heels as a part of the old me. At this point I’m ok with being this me, the newest me. I may not wear heels but I’m still the sassy gal I’ve always been, just in flats.
I wound up bagging up 2 huge filled to capacity leaf bags of business clothes along with heels and some boots. I dropped it all off at Goodwill. I hope it helps someone out there to have some nice stuff to go to work in. My kids thought I should have sold it instead of donating it. But I’ve always donated so I will continue to do so. It does help people. I’ve also shopped there myself back in the day,back when I was young and didn’t have two nickels to rub together. So I’m good with paying it forward and all that jazz.
Then when all of that was done I washed all the dog bedding and Lance washed the dogs when he came home from work. He’s a good man and always super helpful. We are definitely a good team.
The pain from the days events of course caught up to me. I was moaning in pain most of the night. I smoked as well as took my pain meds. It was that severe pain that nothing really gets a hold of. The kind of pain that could make even a badass cry.
It was a sleepless night but I did get a couple of hours so I woke tired but still clear minded etc like the day prior. Was I going to waste this feeling? Oh hellllll no. We tended our pups and then got in our yard to do yard work.
The yard came out great! Still have more to do in my flower beds but it’s an ongoing thing that gives me a lot of gratification. I only have so much energy so I figured I probably should rest before I hurt myself.
I believe my feeling of feeling pretty good came from the moderate temps. Humidity is low and it’s pretty nice out. For us MSers moderate temps are a life saver. On days like today, days I can actually get around and do a little something, far outshines the rough days. The good days make me feel human again not like I’m just a blob of flesh and bones that can barely function.
I’m hoping this is a trend. Since winter the pattern has been a day or two good and then 3-4 bed rest. It used to be very different. It used to be I’d need a day of rest after a lot more work than I do now to recover.
I’ll see and let you all know. Wish me luck. I’d just shit if I could get a whole week of feeling pretty good.
I didn’t do anything too exciting or crazy but damn it felt good to feel human for a couple of days.
This is one of my many MS songs Float on. We all (MSers)just float on just waiting for the next peak or valley