In this I’m looking at the different angles of perception. For instance I can look at a picture or piece of art and see something very different than let’s say Lance or my boys.
What one person perceives is and can be very, very different than what another sees, hears or feels.
There are obviously things we all see that are in our face and not up for debate. But most things can be picked apart and questioned.
I know I’ve reminisced about my boys childhood with them. While I remember things a lot more lighthearted than they do, they remember me being a firm at times a harsh mom as well as at times a tyrant for sticking to my guns.
I make no apologies. I remember telling them “I’m your mother NOT your friend. When you’re grown we can be friends until then you WILL mind me.”
I know with my own behaviors I’ve noticed some take me as harsh, snarky and most think of me as strong. Probably because at times I can/will curse like a sailor.
I believe the perception of me being any of those things is due to my gruff exterior. I’m not apologizing for any of it. I can be and most times am strong as well as harsh and snarky.
I have to give all the credit to my childhood. Growing up in Brooklyn is NOT for the faint of heart.
I remember being about 6 and living with my Aunt Jovita briefly. Her and uncle Ramoncito lived on Essex street in East NY they had a nice well maintained house. It was the hood, God knows but their house was nice.
This was a VERY rough neighborhood. There was a local gang called “The Sex Boys” Those were some crazy, bad to the bone mother effers. One night I remember hearing a woman screaming so I ran to the window to see what was going on. As I looked out of the second story window I saw a young woman running screaming down the side walk, when all of a sudden a guy was running from the opposite direction. He ran up to the screaming girl and slit her throat right there in front of my aunt and uncles house. She crumbled to the ground and he ran away like a bat out of hell. My aunt pulled me out of the window and told me (in a very stern voice) “you didn’t see anything”.
It was there and then that the lines became apparent to me, keep my nose out of other people’s business. Is this a correct way of being? No, it’s really not. As I’ve grown, I’ve seen that we can’t just mind our business and not care about our fellow man. But this was my very young perception of how things should be. Mind your business and take care of your own. In my aunts defense she was looking out for me by saying what she said. She didn’t want trouble with the local gang. I can’t say I blame her. We never spoke of it again.
Several months later my dad moved us to Starrett City with him. It was heaven in comparison to Essex street. There were rolling hills smack dab in the center of Brooklyn. Even though it was a much nicer environment, the Essex St. lesson was engrained in me.
As much as I hate to admit it it’s a NY inner city way of being. It was my perception of self protection.
My thinking growing up was to be strong, don’t let people see you cry and never let them see you sweat.
My Da always reinforced that. He always told me to be strong, so for the most part I am, but we all have times when we’re not. With MS I admit I have those moments that I’m not 10ft tall and bullet proof and that’s ok.
I guess the conclusion to this is perception is ever changing. Where I thought I had to be strong all of the time I now realize I don’t. I’ve learned that as we age we get a bit softer and not so hardened and life gets pretty chill.
Now that my boys are grown, I don’t have to be a hard ass so they grow up to be responsible young men. Thankfully they did, my job is done. I can be their friend. At this point I can enjoy a little and not be wound so tight. It’s about time, because I’m bone tired. lol
While I see my boys upbringing as being downright chill in comparison to mine, they looked at things from a different angle. Their perception was mom’s a hard ass. Luckily the older they get their perception is changing.
So to all the young people out there, don’t worry about things, your perception will change greatly the older you get.