I got a fever… and the only prescription is Cowbell

So the other day was a cowbell kind of day. Not sure if anyone will get that and I’m probably telling my age by sharing this.
Years ago there was a SNL sketch called cowbell. It aired in 2009. It featured Christopher Walkin, Will Ferrell and several other guys. It’s a really funny sketch. Every time I watch it I laugh hysterically.
The cold puts me in quite a bit of pain leaving me in a funk. When dealing with pain we have to find a bright spot. My bright spot is cowbell.
I’m pretty good about getting myself out of a funk. My go to is pulling up that sketch. It cracks me up every time. The other day was a dose x 4 of cowbell. I also shared it with my Sissy and my bestie Jan.

The hubby came home and we watched it again. He too is a fan of the cowbell episode.
I see people in different groups upset or angry about the different issues with MS. I get angry too. I get pissed off at my body and the different circumstances I find myself in with this disease. But then I think how can I turn this frown upside down? You guessed it, cowbell. Being silly and laughing a bit goes a long way when dealing with the different stresses we deal with. I also get chuckles with my stinky pups. But some days just call for the big guns, so cowbell it is. I encourage everyone to find their happy/silly spot.
It’s so important to laugh on the regular. My hubby and I have a lot of those silly times.  The other day I wasn’t in the best of moods so he put on Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing. We sang like idiots. But when we got done we was laughing our asses off. I’ve seen in different groups where people condemn others for having a silly attitude or talking about the positive things going on in their lives. I’ve seen people write it’s probably all bullshit. I can say in my case its not. When things are good I say it. When things are bad I find something to make myself laugh or just stay quiet. Don’t get me wrong I have problems just like everyone else, I’m not saying I don’t. I just would rather focus on when things are good. Trust me my hubby and I argue as do my kids and I. I have horrible times with my MS, but I don’t concentrate on those. Negativity breeds negativity. I actually unfollowed one of my groups today because of the nasty attitude several of them have. I have a twisted sense of humor and post some crazy stuff, but I’m keeping it as positive as I can given my circumstances. We all have rough times, just don’t unpack your bags and live there. We’re only given a short time here so lets make the best of it.

Today was a good day (woo hoo go team Alex). My dog Daisy is driving me crazy but it’s not a far trip.  Yesterday was a painful/spastic day but I made the most of it and it wound up pretty damn good. I didn’t even have to pull out the old standby cowbell.

I would also like to say I do this blog as a diary and also to help newly diagnosed MSer’s NOT for self promotion or monetary gain. Its no more self promotion than let’s say a live video. It’s something I feel is very important. We all need to laugh a little and if you laugh at/with me thats great. That just means I’ve added something of service to this world. There’s no monetary gain and not looking for pity by putting myself out there. just stating the facts as I see them:)  Happy Friday folks26907874_10154989564686945_3180052502418714215_n

A little sass with your coffee? Yes please, make it extra snarky

Snarky and sassy is how I started my morning. My boy jake. Sends me this txt sometime last night. This is what I woke up to.

IMG_5472.jpg

Jake the optimist (God love him) sends this to me. I’m not quite sure if he was saying he was going to do this or he was suggesting I do it. Either way it made me think.
I used to be somewhat athletic, playing golf and I worked out every single day. I still work out on occasion, but only when I’m having a good day. This is a rarity for me these days, but I do it when I can.

IMG_5473.JPGIMG_5474.jpg

 

I’ve lost a lot of muscle mass with this last flare.
Being unable to do more than shuffle to the bathroom from my bedroom and the occasional trip to the store has led me lose considerable muscle. I have played golf a couple of times using my club as a cane. Definitely not the same golfer I was.  In my head I was a super star and heading toward the nationals. Yes I’m kidding. This last flare was the asskickingest flare I’ve had over the years.
I am still hopeful that I can rehab somewhat and get back some strength and stamina.
Back to my original thought, it seems as though most days I spend resting. But does my  sweet boy (the optimist) think I may be able to get healthy enough to do a biking event for MS? God I hope he doesn’t, id hate to let him down.  Although I feel passionate about MS and raising awareness, in my heart of hearts I know I won’t be rehabbed enough to conquer this bike ride.
It is important to keep positive for family and friends, (after all who wants to be around a Debbie downer?) sometimes it can feel like being positive can create pressure to be “normal”.
How do I handle times like these you ask? I’m a smart ass. I go into true Alex form. After all sass like MS is the gift that keeps giving and by golly I’m going to give it. I have a dry, snarky, sassy sense of humor. Anyone that knows me has come to expect as much, so I will not disappoint. Some people love it and some people hate it. The ones that don’t can kiss my mean ass.
The pressure lies with being positive and not wanting to disappoint. It can become a bit much.
For instance I went with my hubby to play golf yesterday after my friends funeral.  I was hell bent on making the most of the pretty day. After all we have to be grateful for every day we have. Mind you I wasn’t playing, just riding. As we rode around and Lance played (doing really well I might add) my body started hurting. Remember earlier I went to my buds funeral? I hadn’t taken my medication which in turn leads to a shit load of pain. I didn’t want to sit at the funeral stoned on meds.  I didn’t think that would be very respectful. So even just sitting and riding wound up being too much. Around the 15th hole I had my fill and put in to go home. I felt bad, but in reality I started hurting at the 11th hole, so I feel I held out like a champ. Lance begrudgingly agreed, he was having a stellar game I’ll say in his defense. I felt bad, but it was too much. Although it doesn’t seem like a big deal, I was left feeling like I let him down. The pressure I place on myself is far greater than any pressure anyone could put upon me. When my boy sent me that txt it made me think. For a second I though I should really try to do this. After all this would be something the old Al might do. This was something that was in the realm of possibilities not so long ago. These days not so much. We sickly folk get guilty from not being able to perform as we once had. It feels like we’re not meeting expectations. Mind you no-one is putting these pressures on me, but me. We can in fact can be our own worst enemy at times.
The new norm is an ass. I don’t like it one bit. But with that being said I’m hell bent on making it more bearable. I do plan on rehabbing as best I can. Do I think I’ll be doing a bike ride? Probably not. But once spring starts and it warms up outside I won’t have as much pain and I’ll get back to moving about more. I always say positive things happen to positive people and I’m positive I’m still a badass. 😉
My point to all of that rambling mess I just wrote was don’t beat yourself up, do the best you can. Folks will understand, but keep it positive and if you can’t be positive at least keep it sassy and snarky. If anything you’ll get a chuckle out of people. Have a great day folks! Put some sass in your coffee and make it an extra snarky Wednesday.

Regrets, try not to have em.

appreciate-a-good-persons-presence-today-so-you-dont-ever-29950243

So last night I had an odd issue arise. I was eating the white chili I made Lance and I.  I had this weird feeling like my food was stuck, for a moment I thought I was choking. It wasn’t my usual aspirating issue, that I’ve become all to used to. It passed and then was so nauseas I thought I was going to puke.
Lance was in the other room, I told him it shook me up. He said “well honey I’m sorry I didn’t know. You need a button to press if I’m in another room” I said “there’s no way in hell I’m getting a life alert at 47 yrs old”. He then says “ no something to alert me, like a Lance alert.” That made me chuckle. He’s such a sweet hubby.
I get nauseas on the regular, because of pain, but this was different. At this point in my disease I’ve learned not to go running off to the hospital every time I have an issue. This too will pass, besides that what could they really do at the hospital? If I went to the hospital and told them of the issue that had since passed, I’d probably get dead eyes and a rambling answer as to them not knowing what happened. After all it’s not like they could give me a pill for what ails me. So why waste their/my time and money?
That’s my tip to the newly diagnosed. Get help if you feel you need it, but don’t waste the money and time if it’s not a straight up emergency. I didn’t know this when first dx’d and wasted a bunch of time/money in the ER. No one filled me in.
Earlier in the day I had a lot of leg weakness so maybe I’ll get some steroids. Not sure though because even with them there are consequences. Bone density issues, teeth issues etc. I love,love, love me some steroids. They sometimes give me a false sense of well being. I’ve taken them many, many times over the past 13 1/2 yrs.
No shame in my roid game.
So today I have a funeral. The funeral of a very sweet soul. I worked with him for many years, back when I sold cars. He was a hell of a guy and a very good salesman. He was such a good heart that if I was in the market I’d be comfortable buying from him. He was an honest guy with a great personality. He was good friend of Bobs. He (Bob) thought a lot of him which speaks volumes.
My kids sure liked him too. His name was Robert Pitts. My kids for some reason thought it was Pibbs when they was little leading them to think he was the owner of Mr. Pibbs soda (not real sure where they got that from). I’d refer to him as Pibsy. He thought that was pretty humorous.
I wish I had stayed in better contact with him and his wife.  It’s a shame we lose contact with people and then wind up going to their funeral regretful we didn’t keep up better. I remember old Pibsy like it was yesterday. When he liked someone he’d say “man that guys a cooool cat”. The way he’d say that made him a pretty cool cat. My point to that little story is to say I hate that we didn’t stay in contact, because Bob and I always thought he was a cool cat. He didn’t put on heirs, he said what he thought and didn’t pretend. He was the real deal and will be greatly missed.
My boy David is taking me so he can pay his respects. Lance was going to take me but since David is going he can stay at work. I’m glad David wanted to go, it’s important to pay respects. I know how much that means. When Bob passed there was standing room only at his funeral. I don’t think in life Bob ever realized the impact he made on people. It meant a lot to me as I’m sure it will mean to Roberts wife Lynne.
So I end this with saying, try not to have regrets, keep up with friends and family. Don’t wait til a funeral to let folks know what they mean to you. I never do New Year resolutions, but this I think is doable and important enough to make.

Life lessons,what are you passing on to your kids?

IMG_5368I start this entry with Life Lessons, What are you passing on to your kids?

I ask the question because as we all know our kids are our legacy. They are what we leave to the world long after we’re gone. We of course want to leave it (the world) better than we found it. We want our children to make a difference in the world, we want them to be productive members of society. When the kids was little I told them many times “we all have to be productive members of society.” They didn’t know what I meant when they was little, but as they got older they understood.

With that being said I’ll talk about my son baby Dave. Baby Dave has work today, he woke sick as crap.  I asked him are you going to work or are you going to call out? He say’s no, I’m not calling out, I’m heading in right now.  I said ok just make sure if you get worse you go home, they’ll understand. I’m pretty proud of his and Jakes work ethic. It’s the same as mine and was of their step dad Bob.

My Da had a hell of a work ethic that he passed down to me and my sissies. I remember him telling my older sister Sylvia some very sound advice one day when she was about 19. She had been out the night before and was going to call out of work because she was tired.  He said ” you shouldn’t call out sick, they wouldn’t have hired you if they didn’t need you there”. This stuck with me. I was only about 10 but I can still remember him saying it like it was yesterday. She wound up going to work because she had a great deal of respect for our dad. When he said something we listened.

This is one of the life lessons I passed down to my boys. I told them that story about my da many years ago. A couple of years ago my son Jake repeated that story back to me when he was sick and getting ready for work. This pleased me greatly.

Life lessons are HUGE with kids, they mirror us quite a bit. I’ve seen some good traits as well as some not so good traits in my boys. Like when they’re sassy, I can’t really complain though,they get it from their momma. If I’m anything I’m sassy. But what I’m saying is we need to instill the important things like a good work ethic, a loving home, tight knit relations with family, how to treat everyone with kindness and respect. Treat the janitor just like you do the CEO of a company. Those things are more important than anything. We seem to have gotten away from this.

If I say anything I can say the most useful life lesson my da passed down to me was to be a hard worker, not to expect anything for free. You get what you put into life, so give it your all.

I wrote this for my dads funeral, It was the life lesson’s he passed down to me. I was honored to give his eulogy, he was a great dad.

10399963_119596791944_8235865_n.jpg10399963_119595326944_5515562_n.jpg

The love of my father got me through some very difficult times in life.
The love of my father made me feel love when I felt all alone in the world.
The love of my father made me be the mother I am to my boys.
The love of my father taught me to be a hard worker even when I felt too sick to do a whole days work.
The love of my father taught me the pride in my appearance, because Dad never went anywhere looking anything short of fantastic.
The love of my father taught me to live my life with a zest and not worry about other peoples opinions. Because at the end of the day it is MY life.
With the love of my father I will get through this deep loss with my head held high and a smile on my face. Beacause with the love of my father I learned that even in death you can take the good memories and persevere.
And last but not least with the love of my father I will continue to teach my boys the strength, pride and courage my dad instilled in me.
Bendicion Da I love you always

With technology being in the forefront we seem to have forgotten about the important things. We’re so busy looking at our phones that we forget to interact and actually TEACH our kids. I’m glad I raised mine before things got stupid or I’d probably be guilty of this too. I’m not judging I’m just passing on useful advice.

Years ago my baby Jake had a project in school. I think it it had to do with what we give to the world. This is what he made, at that point I knew he had a clear understanding of how things should be. And yes I still have it:)IMG_5433.JPGIMG_5434.JPGIMG_5435.JPGIMG_5436.JPGIMG_5438.JPGThis is something I’ll treasure forever. I know my boys will treasure the life lessons I passed on to them. Now I’m not saying I’m the perfect momma, I know there are many things my kids could complain about. My yelling like a lunatic for one as well as I’m sure many other things. But I think for the most part I’ve been a positive role model for them. They’ve seen me and their step dad work even when sick, love fiercely, and treat people with kindness and understanding.

So please if I impress anything upon to my readers, please take your responsibility of raising children seriously.  When you’re gone everyone else has to deal with them. Lets make it a positive experience for all involved. Happy Monday folks:)

Making memories….

E5D5CEDE-2586-432C-8A68-3C83F4731E47.jpegI start this entry with making memories. I feel VERY strongly about this subject. This is something people with and without a chronic illness should always make a point to do. Life can change fast, it can change within a second leaving us with the wtf look on our face.

Don’t be left thinking I wish I had done that. I’ve made a ton of memories in my day. Nothing crazy mind you, no overseas vacations, no elaborate parties, but I still and all have made some wonderful memories. I think my kids have really benefitted from the fun stuff they can look back on. We talk about those fun/crazy times a lot.

Last night my son David, my go to son, my ride or die person txted me a video. He works at the Bay on 30A. It’s a really nice restaurant in a very nice area.

They had an event last night and I believe will be doing another tonight. They have a song writers festival going on, it’s a big time from what I hear. Deana Carter is there as well as several other artists.

Years ago when David was 8 or 9 I brought him and his brother (baby Jake) to one of her concerts. They was just little guys but we had a blast. Afterward him and Jake got on stage and we took pictures. I’m a fan of taking lots of pictures. Glad I did that now that my memory has gotten so bad. Those pics make me laugh and help me remember.

So David’s at work and in the middle of everything going on (it was very busy) takes the time to take a video of her singing one of the songs we heard her sing when he was a little guy and sent it to me. My boys are as sentimental as me. I love it!!! It choked me up that he remembered that concert.

My point to telling you that (besides giving my boy David props) is to make sure I impress upon everyone how important making these memories are. While it seems like a silly little concert or a silly little video txt. It’s important to me that my boys remember all of the fun times we had when they was little.

Life gets busy and with chronic illness it seems like we have so much going on. Even without illness, life is busy. We have careers, bills, problems at work, problems paying bills. But at the end of the day all of that is temporary. It’s minor, especially if we have kids. Kids are always watching and taking their cue from us. The things important to us will wind up being important to them.

I remember vividly when my dearly departed husband Bob was sick with cancer, we talked. We talked a lot. We made memories even when he was in the process of passing. I remember having a conversation with him about vacations and how he’d wished we had taken more. We both was busy working, paying bills and raising kids throughout our marriage. He worked hard and was a good provider. He spoiled me and the kids rotten.

I talk about Bob a lot you’ll see. That doesn’t take away from my sweet husband Lance. I just feel like my life with Bob was important in making me who I am today. Lance too is a wonderful man, who goes above and beyond. But I was younger while Bob and I was married and I learned a lot from him.

So back to my making memories spiel. I remember when my boys was in grade school all the way through to high school, I’d pick them up during school for lunch and we’d go have a lunch date. That or I’d keep them home for the day from school and we’d have a mom and son day, a day at the beach or shopping.

Make those memories, take the vaca, stay up late, let the kiddos eat cake for breakfast once in a while. Life is short, enjoy it.

Not acting like I’m checking out or anything, because I’m NOT I’m far from it. I’m going to be around for many years to make a ton more great memories with Lance and the boys

But my circumstances have changed.

My Sissy had a chance to go to Europe and Hungary a couple of months back. She is deathly afraid of flying and going to Europe is a very, very long flight. She was stressing over getting on the flight. About a week before her trip she called and was picking my brain about going on that loooong flight. I told her to take the trip if anything for me.

I told her how I’d wished I’d have done more while I was still able. She wound up taking the trip and had a blast!

I’d like to do a trip to Europe (I have a ton of family there, that I’d love to see) but don’t think it’s very realistic that I can actually pull it off. My sons don’t understand why I think it’s outside the realm of possibilities. They don’t understand how exhausting it is for me to just sit. They don’t get how no amount of meds can make this any less painful.

With all of that I have to say I’m thankful my boy Jake is doing trips over seas and David is doing his thing, got his degree and is enjoying life. I live vicariously through them. They’re making memories. Anyone that knows me, knows I’m a helicopter mom from hell and worry myself into a tizzy. I like my kids close, so if God forbid anything happens I can be there in a moments notice. I’m learning to let go and let them do their thing, because life is short and I want them to have their memories to look back on when they’re old and grey.

So enough of that. Onto yesterday, it was a good day! I woke, helped my sweetie feed the pups, showered and went to Walmart. Yes I always say Walmart is a shit show, but with feeling like all I do is lay in bed even Walmart can be a welcome change of scenery.

So we go and as usual it amuses us. Lance and I joke that it’s the promenade of Panama City. I go to the pharmacy to get the remainder of my script. Just a heads up check your scripts when picking them up. This is what happened to me….

I had gotten my script in 12/7 didn’t realize it was short 69 pills. I went to take my pain meds the other day and thought wth? I knew I hadn’t went through that script so quick. I HATE pain meds (because I’m a control freak and like to be in control of my faculties). I knew there’s no way in hell I could have taken that many. I look at the bottle and low and behold they had only given me a partial script. I call Walmart pharmacy (in a tizzy) and they tell me “ you must have requested a partial script” I call BULLSHIT! I told the lady on the phone I have never requested a partial script EVER! She was unclear as to why they had only given me a partial. I told her I wasn’t blaming her I just wanted some resolution. So check your scripts folks!

So I pick up the remainder, talk to the pharmacist (who also didn’t know why this had happened) he was very apologetic though, so lesson learned. I go about my business, do my shopping, and go to check out.

The hubby and I joking and being silly. It was a good day, I felt human GO TEAM ALEX!!!!! They (Walmart) may be a shit show but they do have the best prices in town.

We get to a line that’s pretty short. How could this be? A short line and a crip spot in the parking lot? Holy shit the Walmart Gods must be shining upon us today!

There’s a lady In front of us, Lance and I are chit chatting amongst ourselves, when it happens, there’s an error while doing the lady before us transaction. Holy shit stop the presses, this is a major thing. NOT.

The manager comes clears the register and tells the cashier she needs to redo the ladies purchase, which entails ringing up her order all over again. Piece by piece the cashier goes through her order again. The whole time this lady ( the cashier) looks like she wants to cry. She’s about my age,so she wasn’t a child, my heart went out to her. The customer looks a little annoyed but she’s handling it ok. She get her through and paid. Looks at me with a look of, I just know you’re going to bitch and complain. She apologized for it taking so long. I said “no worries, shit happens”. Meanwhile the chic behind me is complaining like an ass. The look of appreciation she ( the cashier) gave me was awesome. She saw I wasn’t going to be a jerk, so she went on to tell me about some meat deals they had going on. It was as if to say thanks for not being a jerk here’s a tip for your efforts.

I leave this blog entry with saying treating people with regard and understanding is as good for us as it is with the other person. The woman behind me, complaining probably continued having a shit day with her shit attitude. While she (the cashier) appreciated my understanding, I felt good about being the one she had to deal with during a stressful part of her day.

No I’m not giving myself a pat on the back or anything. Trust me I’ve been an ass on more than one occasion. I’m just saying slow down and calm down. Not everything is an emergency and we don’t always have to rush.

I’m learning a different way of being these days. I’m not stressing near as much and I take the time to breath, gather my thoughts and enjoy all the good days I can. The good days have become the rarity. Hopefully this passes and my new normal levels out to be more good days than bad days like they was before. After all winter is what tends to make my MS go hey wire.

I end this with saying I’m sure I’ll still be an ass on occasion. Still spunky and have a no nonsense attitude about me and would never back down from an altercation. I’m just slowing it down and looking at things from all angles before jumping the gun and showing my ass.

So now the cable guy is here and hopefully can fix our cable issue. Happy Sunday folks.

Ladies lounge…..

I titled this one ladies lounge as I sit here drinking my hot tea. I titled it as such because I wish I was sitting in a really nice lounge drinking a glass of really good, really pricey red wine. Enjoying girl talk with you all. Instead of on my computer, in my pajamas, drinking hot tea. I don’t drink any more so thats not going to happen, but a girl can imagine.

The reason this blog is addressed to the ladies is because it deals with the M word. Yep menstruation. I have been bragging that I went through menopause. YAY!!! YIPPEE!!YAHOO!! I hadn’t had my period since last year. I was ecstatic!!! After all I’m done with having babies and am very ok with getting older.

I have to say some women are embarrassed about getting older. Not me by golly, I’m 47 and proud of it!!!!!  I’m proud I’ve made it. While people don’t die from MS they can die from complications. So every year is an accomplishment. At least it is in my head. I think I’ve held up ok. After all people think my son’s are my brother when we’re out and about.

So with all that back ground being said I’ll continue on with my menstruation story. I hadn’t had a period in almost a year. A full year that I didn’t have to deal with the nonsense of menses. I told my girlfriend this a while ago and she said it may be due to my last very severe, life changing flare up of my MS.  She had went through a long period without menses as well. But I’m thinking come on, I’m almost 50, it’s time for menopause. I’M READY!!!I’ve been bragging about how I don’t have to deal with periods any more when low and behold I get my period. I get this period and it’s in full force!!!!

I was wondering why I’ve been feeling so MSy the past week. I thought I had just over done it the week prior. NOPE it was just PMS kicking up my MS. Because you guessed it ladies. Your menstruation does in fact make your MS symptoms more pronounced.

I’m not 100% sure it was the flare up or if I’m premenopausal, I figured I’d throw it out there. Just in case there are others out there like me that have wondered about this issue. There are articles about how menstruation effects MS but none about it causing a laps in menstruation. I’m sure when I go to my gyno and ask her she’ll give me dead eyes with some ridiculous response leading up to her not knowing if this is the case. Don’t get me wrong she’s a lovely lady and a good gyno, I just notice a trend when a dr doesn’t have a legit reason for your issue. It always starts with the dead eyes and then the

10686733_10152801293241945_7739490555640128229_n

ramblings.

While I’m not sure why this subject is so tabu, its a fact of life. I mean my god I talk about pooping in some of my blogs so why not this? Yes I will say what others just think about. If there is a topic any of you are interested in talking about but are too embarrassed to bring up feel free to send me an email and I’ll try and address it. I find there are a lot of things people don’t readily talk about because they’re tabu or private matters. I don’t think there is anything about nature that really needs to be kept in the dark.

With that being said I can be private with some matters. For instance I can’t stand PDA (public displays of affection) I hate when people hang on each other or make out in public.  Like really? Keep that crap in your bedroom. But health and well being should not have to be kept quiet for risk of offending. With that I’ll say I’m not out there screaming in public about my period, just on my blog with women that go through some of the same things I have.

Positive thinking through MS

Screen Shot 2017-12-30 at 12.12.39 PMI start this by saying I truly believe positive things happen to positive people. Not to say when negative things happen it’s our fault. It’s life and shit happens.

I was heckled the other day because of my belief system. A woman in an MS group asked me if my beliefs have cured my MS. I answered no they had not. After reading this woman’s negative response, I thought long and hard about why she felt the need to be so negative. I mean I wasn’t telling her she HAD to have the same beliefs as me. I was merely stating what has gotten me through. Not to beat a dead horse, but it made me think about our way of looking at life and all of the ups and downs.

I’ve been known to say ” If it wasn’t for the valley’s I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the peaks.” I’m not saying I don’t have bad days, we all do. But to stay in that frame of mind is terrible for our health, it’s poison for the MSer. Did being in the valley’s of my life bring me pleasure?  No they didn’t.  Did I learn something while there?  Yes I did, with every bad experience/ hard time I took something and tried to make it a learning experience. Do I wish life was all rainbows and cotton candy? ABSO-FREAKEN-LUTELY. But its not, it’s our choice if we make life a negative experience or a positive experience.

There are times I could have laid in bed and cried for days. The majority of my family have passed, this greatly saddens me. But that is part of life and none of us are getting out alive. I’ll see them one day and that brings me comfort. I’ve been sick for many, many years.  I suffer pain daily, I can’t sleep most nights. I’ve lost my career and pretty much the ability to drive, I’ve lost my independence that I greatly valued. I make a conscious effort every day not to let those things get the better of me.

Can I be a grumpy Guss and get cranky?  Yes I’m actually known for my smart mouth and snarky comments. But when I look at my life I see the positives. I could still walk (numerous dr’s have told me i’d lose the ability).  I can still talk even when I have cog fog and get confused, I can form a sentence. I have abilities that some of us MSer’s don’t so for that I’m thankful. That’s why I see things in a positive light.

Now as you all know I’m not one of those hippie chics, not all flowery and crap. But I do what’s in my best interest and having faith and being as positive as I can, gets me through. What does negativity get you?

Think about that for a moment:

  • Does it  make you situation better=  NO
  • Does it help your health= NO
  • Does it bring you profit=  NO
  • Does it make people want to be around you= NO

While being positive doesn’t fix all of these situations, it does have some benefits to our health and mental wellbeing.

Don’t get me wrong, I know life is hard and I also know depression is a very REAL illness. I just look back at my very hard at times in life and know that if I didn’t look at things the way I do, I’d be in a lot worse shape with my MS. I laugh at everything I can, I laugh at myself a lot! I could cry about falling or my vision getting squirrely, or aspirating and choking on my food, but instead I make a joke out of it. It’s my coping technique and it’s worked so far.

Hopefully this doesn’t get anyones undies in a wad. I’m writing this in hopes to help any newbie MSer’s see they can take something positive out of all the experiences they may go through with this disease. Keep it as positive as you can for your own health if for anything. Cry if you need to (we all need to get it out every now and again) Your cup isn’t half empty, it’s half full!